Lessons From Losing

by Tyler Young

“We stand for certain things. Kids have to be responsible for their actions.” So said Mike Slaughter, coach of the Marquette High School football team in Alton, Illinois. That statement will become more impressive to the reader after reflecting on a few things.

In many places around the country, interest in local school sports—especially football—borders on religious fervor, making coaches like Mr. Slaughter prominent figures in their respective communities. People are passionate about their home teams. Several years ago I was privileged to experience this passion first hand when I sat with some 18,000 fans in Ratliff Stadium in Odessa, Texas and watched the Odessa High Broncos defeat their rivals, the favored Permian Panthers, for the first time in nearly 30 years. For many Bronco fans, this was virtually a spiritual experience. And of course, Odessa High coach Randy Quisenbury becomes the hero of the moment.

Back to coach Slaughter. His Marquette High football team finished the season undefeated at 10-0, and was set to make a run for the state championship. But before the playoffs began, 16 of his starting players were arrested for underage drinking at a party. The players were suspended. When parents requested the team not suspend the transgressors—after all, they composed most of the starting lineup of an undefeated team that could go all the way, bring home the state championship and put us on the map—that is when coach Slaughter said, “We stand for certain things. Kids have to be responsible for their actions.” The season ended for the team with a humiliating 63-0 loss in the playoffs.

How refreshing is Mr. Slaughter’s sentiment in an age when people want to point the finger at—and hire lawyers to sue—everyone else rather than take responsibility for their own actions. Parents, we do our children no favors when we shelter them from the consequences of their sinful choices. An inspired wise man tells us, “He who despises the word will be destroyed, but he who fears the commandment will be rewarded. The law of the wise is a fountain of life, to turn one away from the snares of death. Good understanding gains favor, But the way of the unfaithful is hard” (Prov. 13:13-15). When we choose “the way of the unfaithful,” there is designed into that way certain unpleasant repercussions which can help us to see our folly, change our direction, and avoid further pitfalls which could ruin us. The way of sin is supposed to be “hard,” to chastise us.

Our hearts break when our children must suffer for their sin, but if we seek to soften or eliminate altogether the hurtful consequences of their foolish choices, we are not acting compassionately toward them. Protecting them from the hard knocks of life’s lessons only pampers them down a path leading to destruction.

Too, it is good to see a school district uphold discipline rather than caving in to whining parents. In Psalm 15, David asks a crucial question, “LORD, who shall sojourn in your tent? Who shall dwell on your holy hill?” He answers, in part: “[he] who swears to his own hurt and does not change.” That kind of integrity—holding to your word even if it means suffering for it—is rare, but essential if we are going to dwell with God. And how desperately to our children need to see us model that commitment and honor.

We are not suggesting here that there are never circumstances in which alternate punishments may be appropriate. But what kind of message would it have sent to these kids if, despite their offenses and regardless of school rules, they would have been allowed to play in the big game? Football is more important than ethics. Winning is more important than ethics. We don’t expect you to live up to standards of right conduct. The rules can be bent for the athletically gifted. Underage drinking isn’t really too big of a deal (at least not compared to winning). We don’t really mean what we say.

The Marquette High football team might have been able to win the state championship. What an unforgettable season it could have been. But in the end, that 63-0 disgrace will give them more than they could ever get from any passing glory of winning. As coach said, “We stand for certain things.” And those things—truth, accountability, responsibility, integrity, fairness, high standards—are far more valuable than any championship.›